20/12/2011 by Ann.

I was out having a coffee with a girlfriend last week and she made an interesting observation about me: taking into account that I have had a pretty challenging year, which meant I spent eight months being unable to work due to having a frozen shoulder and being incapacitated, she commented that, out of all the people she knows, I seem to have this ability to appear free from worry. I was really fascinated by her comment, as it wasn’t always so.

When I was young I was quite a worrier: I am not sure where it came from, but I know my mum had to eek out the money my dad brought home and look after her elderly mother, while all the time bringing up my two brothers and me, so that was quite tough for her and maybe her regular statements about being careful around money started that line of thinking off for me.

My biggest anxiety came after a huge achievement when I gained a scholarship to a private school. I never felt I was good enough and was always worrying that, if I didn’t do well, I would get thrown out! Instead of enjoying my time there, I spent the first five years in a state of anxiety. If it hadn’t been for my best friend Nalini, I don’t know how I would have got through it all. Funnily enough, when I had finished my legal time in school and I could leave, I was more than happy to stay on for the final two years, which I liked a lot more.

I probably never worried as much after that time, but I still worried quite a lot up until a few years ago, when I finally decided it was time to change. The thing is, in order to change something you have to know why you are doing it in the first place.

Like any negative behaviour, worrying has to have a benefit: humans only ever do something that gives them a positive outcome in some way, as that is what keeps them doing it. Think about self-harming – people who do this always say there is a great feeling of being in total control, before the pain kicks in.

So, what was the benefit to me of worrying? Well it gave me the feeling I was doing something, when I actually wasn’t, as ‘thinking’ and ‘doing’ are not the same things.

So, if you are worrying about something, ask yourself what the benefit is and ‘I don’t know’ is not an answer – it’s just you hiding from the truth. Once you get to the truth of the benefit you can start addressing it and begin to worry less.

Besides, you get what you focus on, so why focus on something negative?

I loved the following quote from Esther and Jerry Hicks about worrying, which sums it up perfectly:

‘Worrying is using your imagination to create something you don’t want.’

I found that very powerful and so true. As it is almost 2012 one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself this Christmas is to make the decision to act more and worry less.

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05/12/2011 by Ann.

For the uninitiated, Marmite is a yeast paste, made out of the by-product from brewing and has a distinctive salty and vinegary flavour. It is known as Vegemite in Australia.

Due to its strong flavour its strap line is ‘You either love it or you hate it’. I have to be honest and say I don’t like it but I know plenty of people who love it spread on toast.

So why am I talking about a food product?

It’s very simple: when you are in business you have worked hard on the product or service you are offering to make it the best it can be. You have spent hours tweaking it, making it better, getting feedback from clients and friends, doing surveys even.

This means that you often have a big emotional attachment to it: after all this is your baby and you want everyone to love it as much as you do!

But all products and services are to some extent, like Marmite. Some people will love what you are offering, others will be a bit indifferent and yes, some will hate it!

I think that is a really good thing: wouldn’t you rather inspire a strong reaction in people than a mild interest or even indifferenceI’ve worked with some top mentors and even they readily admit that not everyone likes their style! There are millions of potential customers out there, so it doesn’t matter if some of them choose to go elsewhere: think of Coke and Pepsi, neither of them are struggling to attract customers (and I dislike both – I doubt either company is losing any sleep about that!).

The thing is, you are here to serve the people you need to serve; those who will benefit most from your offering, and the rest is really none of your business, it is somebody else’s. There is room for everyone, so keep focussing on the people you were meant to serve, who you love and who will love you back for what you do for them.

See, it really is simple!

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01/12/2011 by Ann.

I am avoiding the news at the moment: it is full of doom and gloom which does no one any good, as people attempt to predict what happens in the future, when of course none of them would consult a psychic!

However today as I logged on a headline caught my eye: ‘Drought in UK next summer ‘Almost inevitable”

I almost fell off the sofa laughing: after a night of rain and the recent weather showing the highest rainfall figures across many areas of the country. Of course this so called ‘drought’ is only going to occur in areas where they have had a low rainfall in 2011. Apparently some areas only saw 70% of average rainfall. Another cause for laughter in a country that sees rain on a regular basis, and our shortfall is probably tens of times more rain than in countries such as Morocco.

Of course this scare mongering is followed by blame - people targeting greedy water companies, building projects and of course the government.

We have constantly had drought warnings in recent years and yet I have never had a hosepipe ban, and I live in the south, which is the warmest and driest part of England; this summer my lawns have remained lush and green.

There is more than enough water - it is abundant and yet the lack mentality featured in the media just adds to the doom and gloom. I refuse to buy in to this thinking: after all they said in the 1970’s we only had enough oil in the world to last twenty years!

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