Does your Ego rule your World?

When it comes to new opportunities, which of the following best describes you?

A)     I love it – new opportunities mean I can grow my business and/or myself.

B)     I consider the options and if it is going to benefit me and then decide.

C)    I prefer to stick with what I know.

If you answered ‘C’ you may really be missing out on reaching your goals and achieving a life you love.

Seth Godin has written on his blog about the Lizard Brain, which is really another word for the Ego. The Ego loves to keep you safe and secure and it constantly seeks reassurance. Seth uses a great example of constantly checking for your plane ticket when you leave for the airport, even though you know you have it in your pocket.

The thing is, often new opportunities don’t come with any guaranteed reassurance any more than life does. Just because the sun has risen every day of your life, it doesn’t mean that it will tomorrow. It is highly likely, but, there are never any guarantees and this is where the biggest challenges come for all of us. As children we are reassured by our parents and, as parents, we tell our kids that ‘everything is going to be fine’. We cannot guarantee that: it is a great statement of hope, which is wonderful, but relying on guarantees like this just feeds our Lizard Brain, which constantly questions things.

The Ego is desperate to keep us safe, so doesn’t like change at all: why else do people stay in abusive relationships? The Ego wants to stick with what it knows, because it can deal with that as it has done it in the past. A new future is far more scary for the Ego, even if it means that things could get so much better.

The majority of us are not in abusive relationships, but the Ego is great at keeping us in jobs that we hate and bodies that are ailing because we don’t take time to look after them, and it is easier to sit watching TV than to get up and do some exercise.

The Ego may try to convince you that it has your best interests at heart, but all it wants to do is sabotage new opportunities and stay in a place where it doesn’t feel threatened.

The next time an opportunity comes up for you ignore the Ego and what it is whispering to you and, instead, ask yourself David Neagle’s four questions:

  1. Is this something I want to be, do or have?
  2. Will being, doing or having this bring me closer to my goal?
  3. Is being, doing or having this in line with Universal Law? (More life to all)
  4. Does being, doing or having this violate the rights of others?

You want to answer ‘Yes’ to the first three questions and ‘No’ to the fourth in order to go ahead.

Use the four questions whenever new opportunities come up and to stop your Ego getting its way and keeping you stuck where you are and see what happens!

The Benefit of Worrying

I was out having a coffee with a girlfriend last week and she made an interesting observation about me: taking into account that I have had a pretty challenging year, which meant I spent eight months being unable to work due to having a frozen shoulder and being incapacitated, she commented that, out of all the people she knows, I seem to have this ability to appear free from worry. I was really fascinated by her comment, as it wasn’t always so.

When I was young I was quite a worrier: I am not sure where it came from, but I know my mum had to eek out the money my dad brought home and look after her elderly mother, while all the time bringing up my two brothers and me, so that was quite tough for her and maybe her regular statements about being careful around money started that line of thinking off for me.

My biggest anxiety came after a huge achievement when I gained a scholarship to a private school. I never felt I was good enough and was always worrying that, if I didn’t do well, I would get thrown out! Instead of enjoying my time there, I spent the first five years in a state of anxiety. If it hadn’t been for my best friend Nalini, I don’t know how I would have got through it all. Funnily enough, when I had finished my legal time in school and I could leave, I was more than happy to stay on for the final two years, which I liked a lot more.

I probably never worried as much after that time, but I still worried quite a lot up until a few years ago, when I finally decided it was time to change. The thing is, in order to change something you have to know why you are doing it in the first place.

Like any negative behaviour, worrying has to have a benefit: humans only ever do something that gives them a positive outcome in some way, as that is what keeps them doing it. Think about self-harming – people who do this always say there is a great feeling of being in total control, before the pain kicks in.

So, what was the benefit to me of worrying? Well it gave me the feeling I was doing something, when I actually wasn’t, as ‘thinking’ and ‘doing’ are not the same things.

So, if you are worrying about something, ask yourself what the benefit is and ‘I don’t know’ is not an answer – it’s just you hiding from the truth. Once you get to the truth of the benefit you can start addressing it and begin to worry less.

Besides, you get what you focus on, so why focus on something negative?

I loved the following quote from Esther and Jerry Hicks about worrying, which sums it up perfectly:

‘Worrying is using your imagination to create something you don’t want.’

I found that very powerful and so true. As it is almost 2012 one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself this Christmas is to make the decision to act more and worry less.

Are you Marmite?

For the uninitiated, Marmite is a yeast paste, made out of the by-product from brewing and has a distinctive salty and vinegary flavour. It is known as Vegemite in Australia.

Due to its strong flavour its strap line is ‘You either love it or you hate it’. I have to be honest and say I don’t like it but I know plenty of people who love it spread on toast.

So why am I talking about a food product?

It’s very simple: when you are in business you have worked hard on the product or service you are offering to make it the best it can be. You have spent hours tweaking it, making it better, getting feedback from clients and friends, doing surveys even.

This means that you often have a big emotional attachment to it: after all this is your baby and you want everyone to love it as much as you do!

But all products and services are to some extent, like Marmite. Some people will love what you are offering, others will be a bit indifferent and yes, some will hate it!

I think that is a really good thing: wouldn’t you rather inspire a strong reaction in people than a mild interest or even indifferenceI’ve worked with some top mentors and even they readily admit that not everyone likes their style! There are millions of potential customers out there, so it doesn’t matter if some of them choose to go elsewhere: think of Coke and Pepsi, neither of them are struggling to attract customers (and I dislike both – I doubt either company is losing any sleep about that!).

The thing is, you are here to serve the people you need to serve; those who will benefit most from your offering, and the rest is really none of your business, it is somebody else’s. There is room for everyone, so keep focussing on the people you were meant to serve, who you love and who will love you back for what you do for them.

See, it really is simple!

Water, Water, Everywhere!

I am avoiding the news at the moment: it is full of doom and gloom which does no one any good, as people attempt to predict what happens in the future, when of course none of them would consult a psychic!

However today as I logged on a headline caught my eye: ‘Drought in UK next summer ‘Almost inevitable”

I almost fell off the sofa laughing: after a night of rain and the recent weather showing the highest rainfall figures across many areas of the country. Of course this so called ‘drought’ is only going to occur in areas where they have had a low rainfall in 2011. Apparently some areas only saw 70% of average rainfall. Another cause for laughter in a country that sees rain on a regular basis, and our shortfall is probably tens of times more rain than in countries such as Morocco.

Of course this scare mongering is followed by blame - people targeting greedy water companies, building projects and of course the government.

We have constantly had drought warnings in recent years and yet I have never had a hosepipe ban, and I live in the south, which is the warmest and driest part of England; this summer my lawns have remained lush and green.

There is more than enough water - it is abundant and yet the lack mentality featured in the media just adds to the doom and gloom. I refuse to buy in to this thinking: after all they said in the 1970’s we only had enough oil in the world to last twenty years!

Do You have the One Per Cent?

I was reading an interview in a Sunday paper the other week in which Richard Branson and his mother, Eve, told of his upbringing.

The one thing that stood out for me in this came in the following words of his mother:

‘The thing about Richard was that, 99% of the time he was pretty hopeless, but he always had that 1% spark.’

When you think that she is talking about one of the most successful businessmen that the UK has ever seen, I found this extremely intriguing.

Let’s face it, Richard was not academic and only began doing better at school after he damaged his knee playing rugby and was unable to play sports as much as he used to. This meant that he finally knuckled down to some work, but he didn’t go on to University as you might have expected.

Successful people don’t always come from privileged backgrounds either and you only have to look at someone such as Oprah to see that. Despite all the disadvantages she had, she has become hugely successful.

You see, there are no real limitations when it comes to success; your ability to succeed really does depend very much on mindset and your belief and motivation to do what it takes, as we spoke about a few weeks ago, in relation to Paul McKenna and Anne McKevitt.

The question to ask yourself is ‘Why not me?’

Others will try and give you plenty of reasons why you can’t, and your job is to focus on what you want and to do everything you can to fulfil your purpose.

In just the same way that you have no right to make decisions on behalf of others (e.g. what your clients can afford to pay you) then you are the one who has the right to decide your own path in life.

What are you going to do with your one percent?

It’s all about Perception

I went to Wembley on Saturday to watch England play Spain in a friendly match. I took my friend Maureen as my brother was unable to use his tickets, so kindly offered them to me.

So, we watched the match, commented to each other on the play and the one goal and had a very nice time and went home.

Imagine my surprise when I read the newspaper reports the next day about the match: they bore no resemblance to the match we had watched the day before! The reporters were commenting on how well England had played to not only keep play away from Spain but ensure they had very few shots at goal. This was interesting as, from our view, England had tended to get the ball when Spain made an error or a bad pass. It seemed to us that it wasn’t England who were playing well but Spain who were playing pretty badly and the ball very rarely went into the penalty area at either end.  We were really surprised when England scored!

Of course it was  a great reminder about how we map out the world to our own personal viewpoints and so, millions will watch a match and there are just as many opinions over what exactly went on. All of these are based on our programming, beliefs and prejudices.

It can be very useful to reflect on your own standpoint, how it differs from that of others and what may have contributed to this; after all, there is always another point of view and it can be very useful to consider this in order to grow and develop.

What’s Your Hit Rate?

I was reading an interview with Gary Barlow (best known for being the main singer and songwriter in boy band Take That and now appearing on the UK ‘X-Factor’ TV show) and in it he made a very interesting observation.

Gary said that he writes one hit song in every twenty-five. That is just a four per cent success rate.

‘Wow’ I thought. That changed a lot of stuff for me: certainly it spoke to me about perseverance and also knowing yourself and your market.

It told me that Gary must write a heck of a lot of songs bearing in mind how many successful songs he has written for the band, and for some other people during their hiatus.

It also made me wonder if Gary is setting himself a limiting belief, and maybe he could change that and write a hit song in every ten or even five songs? That could be an interesting challenge!

What I was most taken by is the fact that Gary still believes he can write more hits and he just keeps on keeping on; writing and writing until something comes up that sells like crazy and goes to the top of the charts.

It’s the same for your business: Ali Brown once said that when a product for her business doesn’t sell as much as she anticipated, she knows that is because there is something better that is going to come along, and this is just one of the steps to getting there.

It is very important to remember these two stories from highly successful people when you are working on your business. You may not get it perfect this time but you have endless opportunities in the future and it is this perseverance that will bring you success. As David Neagle says ‘People don’t fail – they choose to quit!’

Who is your Inspiration?

Inpiration comes in all shapes and forms, but it is great to have someone to inspire you.

I remember when I was younger (and mad about horses) being inspired by various people. Ann Moore and her horse Psalm were my absolute idols and I was very lucky that she answered all my letters about her horses.

When it comes to transforming your life into a business that you love and which rewards you on many levels, who do you think of?

I have two people that I find absolutely fascinating: Paul McKenna and Anne McKevitt (strange they are both ‘Mc- something!). I find their stories absolutely inspiring as they have really transformed their lives.

Paul McKenna runs a very successful coaching and hypnotherapy business and has sold many CDs and books around themes such as ‘I Can Make You Rich’ and ‘I Can Make You Thin’. His work uses hypnotherapy as well as NLP techniques, and he has positioned them without any of the jargon. Instead has has relied on the results he gets by using them in his work with clients.

What I find fascinating about Paul is that I remember him from when I was in my twenties. Do you know what he was doing then? He was a radio DJ on a London station called Capital. He just disappeared one day and then, a few years later, was doing a stage act based on hypnosis, before transforming into one of the best known life coaches with many appearances on popular television programmes.

Let’s look at Anne McKevitt. Anne is a highly successful entrepreneur and philanthropist who has worked with top business people such as Donald Trump and Richard Branson and advised various governments. She also runs a millionaire’s club to take people to the next level. She resides in Australia and has mentored other top coaches such as Ali Brown.

Now I remember Anne as someone who grew up in a very poor part of Scotland and I first came across her when she was a presenter on a television programme called ‘Home Front’ which would do house makeovers.

Anne left the show to go to America and I heard nothing about her for years. In fact not until I was listening to a call with Ali Brown and heard Anne’s name mentioned. I went investigating what she had been up to on the internet and boy, was I impressed!

Despite their pretty humble beginnings, Anne and Paul have gone on to create amazing businesses around their passions and to earn millions from doing so. Now, I imagine some people cannot believe what they did and probably discouraged them from taking risks in giving up their earlier careers, yet they both were focussed and followed their path.

It is exactly the same for you and me: no matter where we are in our businesses it is important to know that we are doing what we want to do, and that we have to continue to do so and ignore the people who want to keep us in the place where they feel most comfortable.

Anne is my current big inspiration: she has let nothing stop her, not even a serious injury, and I keep thinking about her when I focus on what I want for my business. There is no one that I can think of that hasn’t had to face adversity and set backs in their business to get to where they are today (Richard Branson, David Neagle and Kendall Summerhawk are others that also inspire me).

Who is your inspiration for your business?

Lose Focus, Lose Customers

One of the main things you need in your business is focus and that applies to your customers. You have to know who you are speaking to and what they want or else you could be heading out into choppy waters. Take a look at the example below:

Max Factor produces make-up and Twinings make tea. These are two very different markets and two very different sets of customers. It would seem though, that Max Factor has a better understanding of its customers than Twinings!

The make-up market is fast moving: barely a week goes by without a new mascara or foundation coming out and Max Factor has probably produced more foundations than most other companies over the past five years.

Max Factor realises that they are selling the beauty ‘dream’ and that the technological innovations in skincare can be used to their advantage. Their customers want the latest developments in the laboratory in their hands as soon as they can, because they are all about looking and staying young and youthful; by default that means that time is not on their side. Their customers get excited by the newest foundation and cannot wait to try it. Their products are directly connected to the latest fashions and trends so they have to keep moving forward and updating their offering.

Twinings is a UK company that sells tea. Tea is a tradition and various blends have endured throughout the years. That’s not to say that new blends have been ignored: they can be introduced alongside the traditional teas, but it is the core teas that form the loyal customer base and, for most of these people, they want to consume a product that delivers time after time (or cup after cup) with no deviations.

Twinings unpublicised changes to one of their most popular teas, Earl Grey, has turned into a marketing disaster. Most customers are asking ‘Why change something that is much loved and needs nothing done to it?’ It is being likened to the ‘New Coke’ debacle. Sure, introduce variations (Lady Grey, Lavender Earl Grey, Decaffeinated Earl Grey) but don’t mess with your lead product. To make matters worse, it is only in the UK that the new blend was introduced, thus annoying its most loyal customers even more. Hundreds of comments on their website leave you in no doubt that the new blend has not gone down well with the palates of those who have drunk Earl Grey for years, and that customers are voting with their taste buds and switching brands. Twinings is a premium brand and people are not going to pay a premium price for a product that they now consider sub-standard.

Understanding the profile of your customers and what they value is key to your product development strategy and to maintaining your brand image. Max Factor seems to have understood this far better than Twinings and, like the other Earl Grey fans, I have binned the new blend and voted to take my money elsewhere. After twenty-five years, Twinings have managed to destroy my customer loyalty, and that of many others, in one disastrous decision.

It doesn’t matter if it is a product or a service you are supplying: the same principles apply and you need to be sure you fully understand what motivates your customers in order to maintain a profitable and rewarding business.

Sacrifice

I was listening to a David Neagle and Ali Brown CD on my way home yesterday in which they talked about sacrifice and how it is about letting go of something of a lower nature in order to let in something of a higher nature.

It came back into my mind this morning as I watched the England rugby team go crashing out of the World Cup in the quarter finals against France.

I was speaking with my brother about the England players and their motivation; mainly on how much they really wanted to win. They have not had the best of press for their sexist remarks to hotel staff or going out clubbing and behaving in a manner more suited to a stag party than a bunch of professional athletes. I was asking my brother if he thought that our highly successful rowers and cyclists would be out boozing and partying in the middle of a tournament and he said ‘No’ after listening to an interview with Sir Chris Hoy. Now his attitude is that when he is having a tough training session, instead of knocking off a minute early he will ask himself how he would feel if he lost a race by 1/1000th of a second because he left one minute early? I am sure Mark Cavendish has a similar attitude.

So I have to ask why, if the rugby team (and also let’s include our highly paid footballers here too) are really serious about their world cup, would they not do EVERYTHING they can to win and that includes giving up alcohol, which is known to affect performance.

Maybe they just didn’t really want it enough? Perhaps being so highly paid means you lose some of your will to win because you still have a nice lifestyle and get paid for turning up?